By Gary Sohmers, 2017 copyright, All Rights Reserved
Chapter Three – Forever Girl
So that was weird. I just joined into a band’s show, unrehearsed, unprepared and unknown to the band. Something is definitely different. The song, the experience, the bonding driven by merely an impulse to do. The audience cheered for what appeared to me to be quite a length of time.
Here in about five or six minutes of time, all of this has happened. I don’t need to analyze it, because it has happened and cannot be changed. What will happen next is the surprise. So I will trust my instincts, my gut tells me this unusual impulse is beneficial to me. So I will go with the flow. My gut has served me well in my past.
At this time, I am trying to enjoy and remember every moment, as it appears to be a career dream come true, or a hallucination. Either way, if I am not told to do something else for my gig here, than I will do whatever happens.
I am feeling a bit anxious, but it has nothing to do with singing in front of thousands of people. Terra’s natural beauty, smile and allure are causing me to be emotionally smitten, knowing full well that she is unavailable to someone like me. And she inspires me with her singing, art and desire for positive change in the world. And she triggered something in my memory.
As my eyes shyly yet diligently followed Terra to her easel across the stage from me, the music begins again with Vibe strumming his guitar, the music soars gracefully, completely different that the previous song in mood and rhythm, but emotionally and musically familiar to me.
At first I believe that Voice appears to be a bit shaken by my appearance on his stage, in front of his band and his love interest, singing his songs and appealing to his audience. He is looking at me watching at Terra and I’m guessing he may be now trying to figure out if this is going to continue or how to regain control. My impulse assures me that is not my issue, and it appears we both relaxed into the strumming guitar chords Voice wrote.
My gaze turns towards him as he closes his eyes and sways to the music. Vibe is strumming his chord progression also wondering who was this weird new guy was on stage singing. Recognizing Vibe’s musical prompting just like it had been rehearsed, Voice joined him at the front of the stage strumming along on his guitar.
Now it appears as if the alien impulse within me was communicating with Voice and Vibe telepathically, meaning I was also in the conversation. I was motivated to again join them at the front of the stage, as my impulse was able to assure them that I was no threat, that we wish no harm and that all is well.
Wow. Again I thought to my somewhat confused self, this is amazing because it is really happening. I am not dreaming, this is not tripping, this is beyond both.
Voice looked at me with calm and comfort. From his career of songs and interviews, I understand that he has his own quest to discover the human spirit through his poetry and his music, and we seem to be lucky riders on his journey today. And Terra is his inspiration.
Terra moves like a flower being tossed by the wind, gracefully, smoothly, erotically natural. Impulse tapped into Terra’s mind and we discovered she was hired by the concert producer as a backup singer, not really knowing of Voice’s relationship with her after a year long separation. She seems happy to be involved professionally and allowed to share her art, his music and their messages.
But Impulse takes me away from my human daydreams of love and beauty to inform me that Terra, the human woman, represents Terra Firma the planet to him/us. Oh yeah, she is beautiful and appeals to my mating need, but I am older and hopefully wise enough now to no longer have unrealistic expectations about companionship. I was not in the running for her affection, although it would be so fulfilling now being inside her mind.
My impulse began assessing her every move, as our combined brain began to think past my human barriers. She moved in front of her easel, like a remarkably familiar light, an uncanny reflection, a shadow dancing in brightness, a crystal that gleamed with the presence of a solar flare while calm as a gentle warm rain on a perfect summer day, brimming of innocence and curiosity. We were truly in love with her.
She glided to the music towards her mates. Voice greeted his companion with a wink and a nod, a knowing smirk between them showed me that the bond was sincerely deep and the connection seemed secure. Not knowing their history previously, all of her thoughts about Voice were absorbed into my brain by my impulse.
Terra looked past Voice right at me, and sang out “You are Gray,” as if she had known me throughout all my existence. “If you say so” I musically reply and with a smile she says “of course you are, look at you.” Ok, so it may be a dyslexic attempt at my name, but impulse and I accept the moniker.
On her prompting, I looked at my reflection in the shiny, metallic drum set on a riser in the rear center of the stage, and there I was. My first glimpse of what I looked like being inhabited by an alien, or an impulse or just a change of DNA. She was correct. By definition, I appeared to emulate the color gray, as my impulse’s merger has caused my skin to have changed to a shade of gray matching the silvery gray of my hair.
On the newly released album that the band is performing today, which of course I had memorized after listening so often, the songs are familiar to me, which made the words and arrangements come natural. This next song I knew was about a woman, and now I am seeing the woman and discovering the connection between them.
Not sure why I jumped into this, but my impulsive urge caused me to also begin strumming the chords on the guitar I was holding, right along with Voice and Vibe. Smiling to the crowd, I was enjoying a special moment on stage that I had given up hope of ever experiencing. To be performing in front of thousands of appreciative souls.
As I get get lost into the chords and swirling sound, I believe I see what appears to be cartoony looking aura surrounding Terra and Voice. Although I was not sure if anyone else could see them, my impulse informs me that everything is normal and to continue to go with the flow. Scientifically it appeared as if impulse had release chemicals from my brain to calm me. The impulse to relax came from within and it worked as if a piece of my irrational belief system changed.
Interesting sensation. If I am finally becoming aware, able to see things previously invisible and communicate with others telepathically, than I needed to better understand life and humankind from this kind teacher inhabiting my system.
Telepathically or instinctually, the entire band knows that there is nothing to panic about. If Voice is ok with me being there and participating, then they are. Impulse was in charge now, and I was feeling no anxiety about what could possibly happen. Back to going with the flow. What could go wrong. The band was ready to support Voice no matter what. He felt secure in delivering the message of his song and his love. That was what mattered.
When Voice steps up to sing to Terra, I was driven by the impulse to sing his words in his stead. Graciously he nods his approval of my continued involvement, still looking at Terra’s eyes like we’ve known each other for eons, I vocalize the lyrics “I’ve known you through a flood of lifetimes, when i catch a glimpse of the twinkle in your eyes.”
With a smile of secured acceptance of my friendly advance for Terra’s attention because my impulse has communicated telepathically and by emitting positive vibrations, Voice calmly sings his next line of lyrics to Terra “You smile with knowledge of my notice, And lure me into the comfort of your mind.”
Terra moves between Voice and I on the front of the concert stage with the audience’s attention focused on us as impulse pushes me to sing my appeal, “I may not have been ready any time before,” with Voice proudly responding his own “But I’m the man I’m supposed to be now.”
Feeling like I am having a split personality moment here, as I can sing the words as if I wrote them, yet know that I am being controlled by an otherworldly presence to do this impulsive action. Being a professional in this world means I know better, yet I felt calm in doing different today.
From somewhere deep within me, and powered by that strange impulse, I passionately sing Voice’s chorus about the timelessness of love directly to Terra, “You are my Forever Girl, you’re always in my dreams, Since time was young you’ve been just one step outta reach.”
Impulse shares with me a glimpse of my past as Vibe manipulates his guitar strings to create a fluid stream of erotic and eclectic sounds. Looking into Terra’s eyes, impulse flashed me back through countless lifetimes, showing me the many times of those eyes smiling at me always conveying a connection. To be here now for her and act this way has given me the chance to know those eyes again.
As the music played, my head swirled with recollections that I could not recognize as remembrances, yet seem so clear. Those eyes have been with me since the beginning of time.
Impulse was filling my brain with knowledge to the strains of Vibe’s guitar. The formation of the earth among the cosmos, the birth, destruction and rebirth of nature on this rock, the evolution of the atom from a single cell to a reasoning being, the growth of awareness and consciousness among all multi-celled beings, the earth’s continuing beauty amidst natural and unnatural disasters. He connected the awe inspiring universal knowledge of his pidi with mine.
Voice and Terra danced in a rehearsed choreography as I beam with my own happiness of being here now. Knowing what I know now. The music soars with Vibe’s prowess and then subsides.
Voice may have written these words for his song, but impulse drives me to convey them with a newly found universal truth within me, I sing “Time makes no limits on imagination, we are as old as we want to be.”
Voice smiles at me and follows up singing “When you meet someone special over and over,” and I respond with “But each time unable to be complete.” Like the lyrics were written for us to sing together.
Our banter continues as Voice leans towards Terra, smiles and sings “I believe she’s out there somewhere” and I respond to his efforts with a similar physical presence with “And hope when i find her I’m what she needs.” Voice acts like he should be perturbed, with hands on his hips, but with a smile, not fearful, showing confidence and exciting his audience.
Voice and I, eye to eye, in front of the tens of thousands of eyeballs, music swirling, heartbeats pumping, we both turned to the Terra and sang from our hearts “She is my Forever Girl, always on my mind, lost and found Forever Girl, one step outta time.”
The audience cheered with excitement. Vibe goes into another ethereal guitar solo with the band churning a progression that seems to soar.
Within the music, I queried my impulse to explain to me why am I here, now, doing this. It was explained to me that every living being here on these premises, and on the planet, are unique, genetically and otherwise. Although due to evolution, tribalism and other factors have caused humans to be divided into groups by these beliefs, many which are irrational.
I am now clearly seeing cartoony figures, representing emotions, acting as they feel. I remember seeing such things as a child, and when on hallucinagens, but impulse informed me that these “beasties” are the outward representations of human emotions that control human behavior. I can see everyone surrounded by their cartoony beasties now. Terra appeared to be lifted by hers, able to float gracefully as she and Voice danced. Can they see these I wondered to myself and my impulse answered yes.
These auras were as unique as their owners emotions, combinations of divergent attitudes and feelings. I could sense good and bad, strong and weak, confident and fearful, angry and loving, emanating en masse from each human, each displaying multiple conflictions yet most seeming to be enjoying the music based on their current physical body language and facial expressions. Impulse tapped into the audience telepathically allowing me to also be aware of theirs also. Some people were actually surrounded by sad auras even while their humans were smiling. Some were angry while smiling, and some appeared fearful even while smiling. This dichotomy was observed until the music led back to the third verse of poetry Voice had written.
I assume that Terra rehearsed her performance with Voice and the band, as she elegantly breaks away from dancing with Voice, and takes the lead, singing her heartfelt question to the universe “Why do i feel like gravity, when i only want to be the breeze.”
She continues the plea for answers singing Voice’s lyrics accepting nature as a dominant factor in all that happens. ”I feel the magnetic pull of something, stronger than the passage of time, two beings entwined in the destiny of nature, creating art from division so sublime.”
Then Terra releases the lyrical answer, one that Voice has known all along, as she sings to him “Yes i am Forever Girl, always in your dreams,” and to me she sings “Lost and found Forever girl, one step outta reach.”
Voice and I look at each other with a mutual respect, and sing together “You are my Forever Girl, always on my mind, you are Forever Girl, just one step outta time outta time.” The music soared as the band built towards the ending of the song.
During this experience, it appears I can think on my own but most of my actions are controlled by my impulse. Since it also appears that the being inhabiting me, has powers that can control others from within me, it did not surprise me that it explained it was going to chose at that moment to use some universal science. By using telepathic influence impulse was able to get the mass of audience to breathe in unison, in and out. The breathing seemed to add to the casually blowing breezes, and the crowd, was one unified, living breathing body as part of a giant living organism called Earth.
I looked out over the mass of humanity gathered, the beautiful puffy clouds moving by above the audience broke up the light emanating from the sun as powerful beams created patterns on the crowds. In the distance, outside of this unique self contained atmospheric condition was a darkness of clouds covering the high rise structures on the outskirts of the concert venue.
When the music peaked, everyone sang Voice’s words of optimism and hope, “the rays of the sun are making shadows somewhere, it may be sunny here and it’s cloudy over there, the rays of the sun are making shadows somewhere, it may be raining there but it’s sunny over here.” The audience knew the song and sang along, then reacted as before with a thunderous ovation of appreciation.
From my human perspective, and from my impulse’s education, Terra was a living breathing human equivalent of what the universe views as a giver of life, protector of nature and the essence of peace in unity. Terra’s smile projected a glow emitting around her, surrounded by her beautiful aura of characters. With a slim darkness emitting through her dark eyes, her hair hewed in terrestrial colors with sunlight blonde highlighting the golden earthiness energy that she was exuding, she shyly moved back towards her easel allowing the band and Voice to reap the applause.
Had I met Terra when I was younger, she would have been to object of my desire as a mate, to possess, to love, to share a life with, and it’s obvious that Voice sees her as that now. She has every attribute a wise man would want in a companion, and if i was he, she would be all that would be needed for his happy future as an artist and as a man. Oh well.
Impulse has permeated her mind telepathically and assures me that Terra is an empathetic ambassador of the human race and really only concerned and distraught over the situation in the environment around her, and not a relationship destined for complacency. Now deep Inside of her feelings, impulse finds that she rebukes the hatred, violence, ignorance, corruption, narcissism and greed permeating the society she must exist within. She sees an illness destroying the beauty and humanity that is destroying her planet, and hopes for a future when change happens.
Terra’s hope appears to be what impulse was seeking, so why am I the one being inhabited. So why not go directly into her, or even directly into Voice, Vibe or any of the others, instead of into an old rock n roll hippie, I queried of my inhabitor. The answer was not obvious, the solution not easy, as I was being forced to change first, and assist others to change as my repayment for a life of dues.
Being chosen by the universe to become an impulse for positive change was not a bad answer.